Rant on cell phone etiquette

This is bothersome for me and a lot of other people.

Has anyone ever read the chick flick “I’ve got your number?” Not that I don’t love Sophie Kinsella, but why would anyone, man or woman, want to start a relationship based solely on emails and text messages? I’m not bashing online dating here people. The question is: would I want to text message a complete conversation with my boyfriend? He’s my boyfriend: we should be doing things other than messaging each other.

For cell phone users, here are some etiquette rules:

1)When you’re on a date/interview/coffee with friend, and your phone rings mid conversation, ignore it. Best way to do this is to turn it off before you meet with said person. You’re there for the person sitting across from you, and when you answer your phone mid-conversation, it sends the message that you really don’t care about the other person’s time.

2) If your phone rings and you see it’s your mother/potential job offer/person you’ve been playing phone tag with for the last 2 weeks, make an overly painful expression towards your friend and say “I’m really really sorry, I have to take this.” And then make the conversation as short as possible. This tells the other person that you still value their company.

3) Same goes for text messages.

4) For emails, do what Tim Ferris does: set up your email to auto-reply with the message “I check my email at 12pm and 5pm everyday. If it’s urgent matters that cannot be put on hold until these times, please call me at (your number here).” Emailers won’t get anxious at your not replying straight away. It also makes them feel loved and cared for.

5)As a pedestrian, when crossing the street, your first priority should be the cars/cyclists. Don’t text and cross. Don’t talk and cross. It’s pretty much the same thing as being drunk.

6)Don’t text/talk and drive. This is dangerous, like doing drugs and driving. It’s not worth the suffering that you could cause. If you don’t drink and drive, why would you text and drive?

7)Dont’ text and cycle.

8) In fact, just don’t be on moving wheels while on a phone.

9) When you send a text message to your friend, don’t send another text message 30 minutes later asking why she didn’t respond to your last text message. It’s possible that she’s busy/didn’t hear her phone/needs to organize her schedule first before replying. If you don’t hear back after the next day, feel free to send a gentle reminder. Some people just forget. Don’t text her asking if she’s pissed off with you. Don’t send two or three text messages in a row. Don’t tell her she’s not very good at text messaging because she doesn’t get back to you instantly. She’s not on hold, ready and waiting to respond to you in real time. She’s got a life outside her phone for goodness sake.

10)Asking someone out via text is just not classy. But maybe I’m just old fashioned.

11) Online daters: don’t suss out a potential date via text messages. Call the dam person. You’ll get a better idea if that person is a psychopath anyway by hearing them on the phone. And if the person isn’t a psychopath, you can rest assured that they won’t ever have to think why the f*ck did we converse via text message?

Anymore? I’m writing this because I just got my first smart phone and I already hate it.

Coming up: Umbrella etiquette.


2 thoughts on “Rant on cell phone etiquette

  1. Fuck. I completely agree. I hate it when people take calls while I’m sitting in front of them. It’s humiliating – don’t they even realize they have made a choice right then as to which is more important, the phone and not the person in front of them?

    Another great one is people who keep one headphone in listening to music blaring while attempting to talk to you – and to garnish it off, they throw in extra-loud “what?”s every few seconds. I just want to walk away from them. I had a friend who did this and it took me a while to clue in that she was a little socially disconnected.

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